I had an interesting chat with Sidney Eve Matrix, a professor of film, media and mass communications at Queen’s University. We got to talking about Facebook in the workplace and the pressure students are under to accept friendships from near strangers, business acquaintances or bosses. She mentioned, many of her students are in an absolute panic over what to do.

The founder of Facebook, has suggested we all lighten up and share with the world our entire digital life.  It turns out, some of his pictures are private. Regardless of the trials and tribulations of such a high profile character, let’s explore social norms and the topic of openness and social media peer pressure. Here are some key points to consider and debate, if you start getting friend requests from potential employers, work colleagues or bosses:

1. Was your company recently valued at 8 Billion dollars? If so, then you really don’t care about future employers poking around your party photos and updates. Congratulations – you are loaded and you don’t care what people think. Don’t let celebrities influence your decision. They live on another planet.
2. Social versus professional content. Think about the interview process. Would you bring a photo album of your trips, parties and social outings to a career fair or interview? The answer is no, since this violates an established business norm. As you head into the working world, you will discover there are boundaries in the professional world. Work colleagues can become friends, but in the interim, one does not offer up a photo album to professional colleagues. Its just weird and creepy.
3. Content out of context. If your sarcastic wit is well established, your true online friends will understand the humor behind an update you make. A friend at work would say “I am not taking enough pills and alcohol today” when things were stressful at the office. It was part of his wit. If I came across this post, I could very easily assume the person had a drug problem. Context matters!

We have espoused a simple rule for managing your Facebook privacy and friendships. Consider applying this simple rule before you accept Facebook friends.  Friend people you would invite in for dinner, or include in a group invitation for a night of karaoke. Sharing a meal in your home suggests you have a personal connection, and joint karaoke suggests you don’t mind making an ass of yourself in front of this person.

This simple filtering rule will help you create a line between your professional and social lives. It is simple and easy to apply.

What happens if a business associated or boss wants to friend you? If they don’t pass the filter, ignore their request and move on. If need be, drop them a polite note suggesting your Facebook space is an extension of your personal life. I have turned WhyHire.me students down with a polite response along these lines. No harm, no foul.

If you do have a boss that continues to pester you, consider your options carefully. They are in effect asking to enter your personal world. My suspicion is, Facebook social pressure at work will start creeping into lawsuits, since one could argue there is a line an employer should not cross. Pestering someone repeatedly is likely grounds for harassment. Check out this story filed by Erin Geiger. In time, HR departments will start clamping down on bosses who friend employees or prospects being considered for positions.

Your life need not be an open book.